Sunday, August 17, 2008

True Love

What do the words ‘True Love’ bring to your mind? If it is ‘that card with those sweet words’ you saw at the gift shop or ‘that someone special’ who gave you ‘goosebumps on your first day of college’ or ‘that romantic movie scene between your two favourite stars’ or something along similar lines please set it aside for a while. None of these completely depict ‘True Love’ as I am about to describe.

Think instead of a waterfall. A waterfall that perennially gushes forth pure water for the joy of all. Now, how does this water fall depict ‘True Love’? The answer to that is the waterfall manifests the three main characteristics of ‘True Love’. When you Love someone Truly you Love that person Unconditionally, Endlessly and Limitlessly! Let me explain each of these characteristics one by one.

If you say I will love a person, but for that the person should do each of these things and not do each of these other things, it is not ‘True Love’. This is because a person in his true nature cannot fit into the mold created by another person. If you impose conditions on a person, he or she may adjust to please you. But that is not the person’s true nature. And when people are not in their true nature there can be no ‘True Love’. Some people ask, "When there are people who are manipulative, cunning, deceitful, selfish how can we allow for that and be unconditional?" Questions like these arise when we look at other people expecting them to do what we would do in their situations. We have to realize that we are not them and they are not us. The type of mind and body we have, the circumstances we faced in life, the kind of people we were surrounded by, all have contributed to what we are today. A person who gets all the good things in life like a healthy body, a loving family, a good education, great friends can be a person with admirable morals who treats people justly always. Unfortunately, many people do not receive one or more of these crucial requirements in adequate amounts. So when the actions of a person seem unjust to you realize that he or she is a ‘different’ person. A person who cannot think with your mind and a person who had a different past. When you do this you start seeing people as ‘victims’ and not as ‘culprits’. Ultimately, all people want to be happy and are just from their own point of view. But we all have limited brains and we all make mistakes. At the foot of the waterfall the priest comes to collect water for prayers and the farmer comes to wash his buffaloes. But the waterfall does not pour out a lot of water to one and a little to another. It just pours out water Unconditionally to one and all!

If you say you loved a person once but do not love him or her anymore I say you never Loved that person Truly in the first place! For all 'True Love' is Endless in nature. People say they felt some Chemistry, or some Magic that they never feel anymore. This is not ‘True Love’ but is just an attraction at a very raw level. It fills our longing and lust and we mistake it for ‘True Love’. This feeling is closer to what we feel for certain fancy items while shopping than it is to ‘True Love’. Then people ask, “How can you love a person throughout your life, won’t you get bored?” Again they are not talking about ‘True Love’ at all. Will any mother say, “Son I have loved you for the past twenty years and now I am bored, go away let me get another son.” When you start Loving people Truly and not as a result of the judgment you make of them, the way you see them changes. Each person appears extremely beautiful and completely flawless in his or her own special way. And with every passing moment you only get to experience more of these wonderful qualities. 'True Love' never wanes; with time it only grows deeper. When we look at people like this we cannot get bored; on the contrary, I doubt if one lifetime would be sufficient to give them all the Love they Truly deserve! The waterfall rips through when it rains but even on the sunniest days it keeps at least a small stream going. It never stops. It keeps the water coming, year after year after year!

If you say you Love this person more than that person, I say you don't Love either of them Truly! For all 'True Love' is Limitless in nature. You cannot say I love this person 65% and that person 72% so I love that person more. In the world of 'True Love' there is only one number: Infinity! You think of a person and that person fills your mind! That person now is your universe, your all! There is no place where you wouldn't go running to see this person! There is no hardship you wouldn't happily take up to bring a smile on this person’s face! There is no percentage, no ratio, no fraction, no rational number that can equal this feeling. The waterfall does not provide only two buckets of water per person or check people's ration cards. It just boundlessly flows for all it's worth and gives everyone all they can ask for and more!

How many people in this world can you 'Truly Love' like this? Well, this is the best part! If you learn to Love even one person in this world Truly Unconditionally, Truly Endlessly and Truly Limitlessly, then you can automatically and effortlessly do so for everyone else in this world! That is the magic of 'True Love'! That is what it has to offer; a world full of Lovable beings each living to bring you True Joy! Is this practically possible? There are people who have done exactly this. In all the photographs and other depictions of people like Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Buddha and other such great men we can notice that these people have a warm smile are filled with a sense of contentment and harmony with life that nothing can take away from them. They fill the hearts of people around with Joy by their mere presence . This aura of theirs is what is depicted using halos in most of their paintings and sculptures. The secret behind this aura is this: Each person you 'Love Truly' makes you immensely richer in a special way. You have a guaranteed source of Joy that no one can take away from you. And these people have a few billion humans and countless other beasts and still more plants and trees constantly giving them this Joy! The whole world belongs to them; wherever they go they only see more and more creatures they can adore, Unconditionally, Endlessly and Limitlessly! This Joy is what gives them their halos! You may say, "But all these people are great saints and God men; I am not!" And I say, the only difference is you haven't started on 'True Love' yet!

20 comments:

Danny said...

you're very right buddy.. Loved this post the very moment i read it and so blogrolling it in mine.. Great work buddy..

Ashwin said...

i remember bawa saying there was a point of time, when someone who got angry was looked at with pity... like.. "poor guy.. he cant even compose himself/herself"... but with media influence( specially vijay movies and rajni movies) .. anger and such other similar emotions have become COOL( so to say),making it really difficult for to achieve true love.... though i relate/admire and feel warm with the knowledge of TRUE LOVE.. i am not able to implement it. BUT i really liked the metaphor...such things will be wived out when u achieve TRUE LOVE!!!

and also 1 more thing.. why do u think such emotions are so rampant only when it comes to a man-woman relationship?? for example... i have SO many friends and i am really comfortable with them...without the knowledge of true love.. i wanna know your thoughts on true love and physical relationships.. does that mean its OK to have physical relationships with more than 1 partner?? since u know , its a way of expressing your love.. and the problem occurs, cos as per LAW/SOCIETY, only one such person can exist!

angeli said...

You're a dumbass! Where dyu come up with this stuff?

And really, this could have been condensed into 4 sentences.

arun rajkumar said...

I hereby declare that Hari is a Professor of love :)
He, not just says it, but also lives his life that way.

Anonymous said...

hi hari
am amazed and surprised abt your impressions, for it has taken 51years ( still on the path ) to realize or understand very little about true love.
am proud that we are associated with you..
post more..

Anonymous said...

very nice post! I agree completely. (Ajay)

Hari Ram Narayanan said...

Danny, Arun, 51 years young person and Ajay thanks for your encouragement!

2 Ashwin: Man woman relationship is always heavy on the emotional side. The society and our own emotions make us love certain people in certain ways. A Physical relationship is just one way of expressing Love. True Love is beyond all that. We don't feel any restrictions but we completely open up and just Love! There may be restrictions on how we can express this Love, but that, in no means restricts the flow of Love itself!

2 Krit'angeli': What if I may know are those 4 sentences?

Raji Sarath said...

Hey hari...great piece..really gets u thinking and rethinking relationships :) - keep javascript:void(0)
Publish Your Commentgoing!

Ocher said...

hey hari it really answered a question inside me after long time of my search :)

In Search Of Myself said...

Great Post...loved the waterfall metaphor and unconditional, endless and infinite nature of it...

But then it's a waterfall with no other job to do, but to, well flow...We, on the other hand are not so natural as we grow up coz we are not just doing 1 thing, or being at one place with one person, or have just one role to play in life....

It's relatively easy to love someone (like a saint does) and not create a relationship out of it, then the true love will comtinue to flow, in such dispassionate state...infact that's the only way to true love - to love all but not be attached to the people...it sounds beautiful in a ideal situation however it doesn't happen in real life.

Even in relationships (particularly man woman) it's essential that there is some give and take by both and not just give give or take take by one...it's not business, agreed, but there have to be balance...

~ Ashwani.

angeli said...

4 sentences start now:

"I think I know what True Love is. It is unconditional, it never changes, and it cannot be measured. And if you experience this kind of love even once in your life, you are truly blessed and you will have the generosity of spirit to spread this feeling to everyone around you."

I did it in 3. Ha!

I disagree with almost EVERYTHING in this post. You are just defining some term and putting forward no arguments to defend your definitions!

I do agree, however, with Ashwani's comment.

angeli said...

And get rid of the comment moderation, would you? Its ANNOYING

Hari Ram Narayanan said...

2 ISOM: In practical life there are issues but I don't think one has to be a saint to experience True Love. We may have to argue, make compromises or part ways with people, but Love can continue to flow non stop at another layer. For eg, say u're quarelling with someone and at the same time u only wish well for that person deep inside you can continue to love that person even when u r quarelling.

2 Kritanjali: I don't think any 'arguments' are relevant here. I am not claiming that I have figured out something that other's haven't. I am just describing something that I personally have experienced and observed. If you are not convinced here is a challenge: Find a person in this world, whom I cannot wish well, praise or say a prayer for and I will delte this post!
& sorry for the moderation, it is necessary to avoid spammers. ( Not everyone is as welcome as you! ;) )

arun rajkumar said...

there it lies...
"( Not everyone is as welcome as you! ;) )"
So Hari's love is not unconditional afterall.
(note the winkie in his post ;))

Hari Ram Narayanan said...

I had a feeling, something like this will be up from you. Some people's comments may be irrelevant to this blog, hence they are unwelcome. Yet we Love them all the same!

arun rajkumar said...

2 Hari: You have defined what "TRUE LOVE" is very beautifully with metaphors. I really would love to be in love with everyone/everything that way.
Could you please brief us on the means to attain that "TRUE LOVE" and also share with us how you attained it.

Hari Ram Narayanan said...

Bring to mind the the person who seems the most disagreeable and irritating to you. Think of that person and the things he/she does for a moment without wanting him/her to change at all. Just accept the fact that this person is like this now. Think of the situations the person faced in life that made the person what he/she is today. Realise that this person has a different character and can't be what you want him/her to be.
Now wish that, this person being what he/she is has a wonderful life. May this person get joys and riches immensely, may he be free from all difficulties. Now close your eyes and say a prayer for this person. By now your heart must start feeling a warm connection with this person. If you talk to the person in this state he/she will listen to you and can change miraculously, but for that first you have to come to this state, ie. develop love for this person. If you can do it for such a person then you can do it for everyone else!

Vaishnavi said...

That is so true.It really works.Thanks Hari!

In Search Of Myself said...

U have been tagged...visit my blog...

~ Ashwani.

Shambhavi said...

wonderful hari.. loved reading it! keep up the good work!