Thought Shuttle

I fell in love!

2011-04-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

I was walking smiling wide
When I fell in, I knew not how
"Was it a trap? Was it a hole?"
No, none of these, I fell in love!

The same old road, had something new
It made me think, where am I now
"Did you wander? Were you lost?"
No, none of these, I fell in love!

How grass shoots out through cracks in rocks
A light within, how fireflies find
How fish emerge, in fresh puddles
Love for someone, thus filled my mind!

I'd picked my path, with ample care
Got caught by hands, both strong and thin
"Was it your choice? Was it your plan?"
No, none of these, I just fell in!

I'd picked my path, with ample care
When I fell in, I knew not how
"Was it a trap? Was it a hole?"
No, none of these, I fell in love!

The True Lover, he needs no art

2010-02-23T00:52:00.000-08:00

The True Lover, he needs no art,
To show that he is filled with bliss!
No Symphonies in full or part,
Or made up Poems such as this.

Ah! A mere glance from his eyes,
Speaks more to the beloved's heart,
Yes a mere glance from his eyes,
Says more to her than all of art!

Ode to Mathematics

2009-05-13T03:05:00.000-07:00

Mathematics! Mathematics!
I scratch my head not for the ticks!
The problems you pose, itch me more
So hard to learn -- harder to score.

Companies that promise great careers
All say in bold, 'No Standing Arrears!'
But my arrears aren't 'seated',
Until you're properly treated.

You seem to me variably hazy,
Only because I'm constantly lazy!
But for the diligent practicer,
Who is laborious, not wiser,
You form a seductive mistress
And give him bliss and not distress!

PS: Written entirely in trance filled maths classes during my college days.

Lend me a shoulder

2009-05-13T03:02:00.001-07:00

Days of peril are far from gone,
Lend me a shoulder, friend;
In such times, that's nice to lean on
Lend me a shoulder, friend.

Drained and disdained, from joy detained,
Only sorrow seems sustained;
Life is strained, seeing me so pained,
Oh Lord, are you entertained?

Burning in the reddest fires,
Is my lonely crying heart;
From this life that hurts and tires
I wonder when I will part!

For loss append, to life amend,
Even I dare intend,
On support I wholly depend,
Lend me a shoulder, friend!

PS: Written during the dark times controlled by disagreeable lecturers, horrifying exams and mystifying rules.

Ode to the Sea

2009-05-13T02:29:00.000-07:00

"Oh roaring sea! Oh lapping waves!
You impress me none the more,
Oh roaring sea! Oh lapping waves!
You amuse me none the more!

A while is past, since we met last,
You are as blue as before;
Great ocean vast, please tell me fast,
Are you deeper one inch more?"

In much unrest, I slept that night
The sea wasn't such a bore;
It left a mark, that sublime sight,
What I said had made me sore.

In my mind, the tides were changing
To settle there lay a score
Next day with a different feeling,
Straight I headed for the shore,

"Dear sea, lied I yesterday!
You impress me all the more!
Each time I sea your sprawling bay,
You bewitch me more and more!"

PS: Written when I came to Madras and revisited the ocean after a sizable hiatus

Ode to the Cow!

2009-01-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

Hey cow, I send you love,
For the warm feelings you inspire!
Say now, exactly how,
So calmly you ever retire?

Dogs bark, flies buzz, men scream;
You close your eyes and cogitate!
Cars honk, sticks lash, lights beam;
You remain still and ruminate!

Hey cow, how you allow,
To squeeze out milk that you prepare!
Then thou, art slain we plough,
Leather for our selfish attire!

Halos of God-men pale,
When they see how you meditate!
Using your magic tail,
Do you secretly levitate?

Hey cow, I send much love,
For no wrong you ever conspire!
No dove, I bravely vow,
Can so much peace, as you, inspire!

PS: Wish you all a happy Mattu Pongal!

In Harmony with Providence

2008-12-31T18:43:00.001-08:00

One of the greatest forces in the universe is that which makes life prevail, proliferate and flourish. Our planet has been pounded by massive meteors, been frozen by ice age, been subject to great climatic changes and now is being gradually submerged under water. And still today, peacocks continue to dance, the great whites continue to hunt, the corals continue building reefs and humans continue making newer versions of software! Life shows tremendous determination to survive and express itself in all it diversity in an extremely dynamic and unpredictable environment. What people worship as God is merely a form given to this spirit of life.
All of life taken together is like an army that is constantly struggling to persist and develop and each one of us is a soldier in that army. We will be given all that is needed to fight this battle; this is the promise of God, this is what keeps us going. All these blessings: the circumstances, the articles and the qualities that have brought us so far and that will continue to take us forward, put together is our Providence.
This perspective towards life can help us greatly in drawing fulfilment from it. We realise that we are not individuals fighting a battle all by ourselves. Instead we are a member of an enormously huge army: The army comprising of all life. Now if we can align our own motives with the motives of this great army, we will get all that we need in life. We will be in Harmony with Providence. Being in this state God himself falls on our side. And when God is with us, who can be against us?
While making decisions, forming ambitions and setting priorities most people put themselves in the centre of this process. When we do this our desires and actions often come in conflict with that of the army we are fighting for. On the other hand, if we take into account the effect our actions have on each form of life concerned and act in the best interest of all, we align ourselves in Harmony with Providence. This is not a sacrifice. For when we are in Harmony with Providence, we become a very important component of life. Being the great survivor that it is, life efficiently recognises us and does all that it takes to maintain us and keep us happy. It spreads before us every form of true joy that exists in the world. This is the practical explanation to why a person with good morals and values leads a fulfilling life.
The software company Google in its site for its charitable venture “project 10 to the 100th” states, “...new studies are reinforcing the simple wisdom that beyond a certain very basic level of material wealth, the only thing that increases individual happiness over time is helping other people.” This is because by helping others we align our motives with the motives of the army. We not only become great warriors ourselves, but we also empower others to do so. And thus we make our life fall in Harmony with Providence.
People who are greedy, selfish or corrupt seem to be enjoying their lives but their joys are always short lived and incomplete. They are in discord with Providence. Sooner or later such people become failures. This is because their battles are for themselves and are not in the interest of the army.
Thus we see that greater impact we create on the world around us, the more fulfilling our lives become. On the other hand, the more self centred we get the lesser becomes the true joy we can extract from life. A person who is perfectly in Harmony with Providence leads a perfect life.

I am responsible for Terror Attacks

2008-12-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

"The welfare of the whole world lies in every human being's selfish interest, as a flaw anywhere in the world, if allowed to develop, can manifest itself as a problem in his life." -- Transcendental Quotation, Thirty Two

Between November 26th and 29th 2008 terrorists from Lashkar-e-Taiba attack nine places in Mumbai killing close to two hundred people and injuring about another three hundred. I, an employee of a company that sells software living in a completely different city seem completely disconnected with this event. However, as I am about to show you, I am responsible for these attacks.

Judging the reaction of the people to this incident, many of them seem to be of the following opinion: They themselves are ‘good’ people. Unfortunately, all people are not like them and there are some ‘bad’ people like the terrorists. These terrorists, being ‘bad’ kill people for no reason at all, and the terrorists should be locked up in jails or killed for terrorism to be prevented.

At this point, let us take a closer look at these terrorists. What kind of life would they have lead to become what they are? Most of them would have never gone to schools, played in parks or laughed at parties. They would not have got the love and moral guidance that a proper family provides. I am here talking about values and bonding. If I had been given an AK47 and asked to murder, when I was eight, instead of being given a cricket bat and asked to play, I am sure I would have been different. The terrorists are normal humans like all. However, they have been brainwashed into what they are. This was again done by people who have been brainwashed themselves. All their lives are filled with blood, violence and gore. Their circumstances made them what they are. And the entire human society, taken as a whole is responsible for creating and then ignoring those circumstances. And I am as much a member of that society as the terrorists.

Let me give you some examples to demonstrate the connection I have with an event like this.
I have not cast a vote in a single election in the past seven years I have been eligible to do so. Maybe, if I had voted and convinced friends to do so, we would have had better leaders who could have prevented this. But I never cared, I thought it wouldn’t matter.
I have bribed policemen and other government authorities, for my convenience, just to save small amounts of time and effort. Maybe, one of them got promoted, took a bribe and allowed this to happen.
Maybe if I had given more to charity, aid would have reached the ailing corner of the world, which created these terrorists and prevented this.
I can go on like this and putting it together, I am connected and responsible in my way, for allowing the terror attacks to happen.

Looking at just me, all this may seem like a far cry, but the sad fact is there are millions and millions of people like me in this world. Our lack of sense of responsibility and carelessness combined, causes and allows for such tragedies. What can be done to stop this? Maybe we should punish different people for a change. Maybe some folks like me should be captured and beaten and killed. Alas, is there anyone who would take initiative to do something so drastic? The answer is yes, and the people who do this are known as the terrorists! Yes, this exactly what the terrorists have done and the whole thing completes a big circle. A huge ‘Wheel of Terror’ is spinning and we all are spokes that keep this wheel going. People like me, the politicians, the security forces, the terrorists; all are just spokes: And each spoke is as responsible as any other to keep this wheel going.

The ‘Wheel of Terror’ teaches us one important lesson. We all are part of a system that balances itself, that is fair. We enjoy a life of splendor ignoring the cries of many people suffering across the world. The system creates such tragedies to balance this. It tells us, “It is your mistake, take it, you deserve it”. We must all open up and take heed of this.

For a change, let us stop pointing fingers at others, turn our hands, and point them at ourselves. Not at the politicians, not at the government, not at the security forces, not at other countries and not even at the terrorists, but ourselves. Let each one of us take responsibility for what happened, and change and improve on our part. Let us stop assuming that since our immediate surroundings are fine, the problems of the world don’t matter. Let us all act towards making proper health care, good education and lots of love be available at every corner of the world. Let each one of us consider the welfare of the whole world as his or her own selfish interest. For only then, shall the ‘Wheel of Terror’ stop spinning, and only then shall there be peace!

===
NOTES:
#Here is a video on how terrorists are recruited and brainwashed.

I'm not in Love

2008-11-08T05:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not in Love, I admire her
This girl I saw, I wonder why,
I saw a dimple in her cheek,
I saw a sparkle in her eye!

She made me blossom from within
This girl I saw, I wonder why,
The air felt different just that night,
A million stars lit up the sky!

I'm not in Love, no not in Love!
Oh, can't a man just praise a girl?
I'm not in Love, no not in Love!
But charmed by how her forelocks curl!

She has me gripped, she has me flipped!
This girl I saw, I wonder why,
I'm not in Love, no not in Love!
It makes no sense, I wonder why!

True Love

2008-08-17T02:26:00.000-07:00

What do the words ‘True Love’ bring to your mind? If it is ‘that card with those sweet words’ you saw at the gift shop or ‘that someone special’ who gave you ‘goosebumps on your first day of college’ or ‘that romantic movie scene between your two favourite stars’ or something along similar lines please set it aside for a while. None of these completely depict ‘True Love’ as I am about to describe.

Think instead of a waterfall. A waterfall that perennially gushes forth pure water for the joy of all. Now, how does this water fall depict ‘True Love’? The answer to that is the waterfall manifests the three main characteristics of ‘True Love’. When you Love someone Truly you Love that person Unconditionally, Endlessly and Limitlessly! Let me explain each of these characteristics one by one.

If you say I will love a person, but for that the person should do each of these things and not do each of these other things, it is not ‘True Love’. This is because a person in his true nature cannot fit into the mold created by another person. If you impose conditions on a person, he or she may adjust to please you. But that is not the person’s true nature. And when people are not in their true nature there can be no ‘True Love’. Some people ask, "When there are people who are manipulative, cunning, deceitful, selfish how can we allow for that and be unconditional?" Questions like these arise when we look at other people expecting them to do what we would do in their situations. We have to realize that we are not them and they are not us. The type of mind and body we have, the circumstances we faced in life, the kind of people we were surrounded by, all have contributed to what we are today. A person who gets all the good things in life like a healthy body, a loving family, a good education, great friends can be a person with admirable morals who treats people justly always. Unfortunately, many people do not receive one or more of these crucial requirements in adequate amounts. So when the actions of a person seem unjust to you realize that he or she is a ‘different’ person. A person who cannot think with your mind and a person who had a different past. When you do this you start seeing people as ‘victims’ and not as ‘culprits’. Ultimately, all people want to be happy and are just from their own point of view. But we all have limited brains and we all make mistakes. At the foot of the waterfall the priest comes to collect water for prayers and the farmer comes to wash his buffaloes. But the waterfall does not pour out a lot of water to one and a little to another. It just pours out water Unconditionally to one and all!

If you say you loved a person once but do not love him or her anymore I say you never Loved that person Truly in the first place! For all 'True Love' is Endless in nature. People say they felt some Chemistry, or some Magic that they never feel anymore. This is not ‘True Love’ but is just an attraction at a very raw level. It fills our longing and lust and we mistake it for ‘True Love’. This feeling is closer to what we feel for certain fancy items while shopping than it is to ‘True Love’. Then people ask, “How can you love a person throughout your life, won’t you get bored?” Again they are not talking about ‘True Love’ at all. Will any mother say, “Son I have loved you for the past twenty years and now I am bored, go away let me get another son.” When you start Loving people Truly and not as a result of the judgment you make of them, the way you see them changes. Each person appears extremely beautiful and completely flawless in his or her own special way. And with every passing moment you only get to experience more of these wonderful qualities. 'True Love' never wanes; with time it only grows deeper. When we look at people like this we cannot get bored; on the contrary, I doubt if one lifetime would be sufficient to give them all the Love they Truly deserve! The waterfall rips through when it rains but even on the sunniest days it keeps at least a small stream going. It never stops. It keeps the water coming, year after year after year!

If you say you Love this person more than that person, I say you don't Love either of them Truly! For all 'True Love' is Limitless in nature. You cannot say I love this person 65% and that person 72% so I love that person more. In the world of 'True Love' there is only one number: Infinity! You think of a person and that person fills your mind! That person now is your universe, your all! There is no place where you wouldn't go running to see this person! There is no hardship you wouldn't happily take up to bring a smile on this person’s face! There is no percentage, no ratio, no fraction, no rational number that can equal this feeling. The waterfall does not provide only two buckets of water per person or check people's ration cards. It just boundlessly flows for all it's worth and gives everyone all they can ask for and more!

How many people in this world can you 'Truly Love' like this? Well, this is the best part! If you learn to Love even one person in this world Truly Unconditionally, Truly Endlessly and Truly Limitlessly, then you can automatically and effortlessly do so for everyone else in this world! That is the magic of 'True Love'! That is what it has to offer; a world full of Lovable beings each living to bring you True Joy! Is this practically possible? There are people who have done exactly this. In all the photographs and other depictions of people like Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Buddha and other such great men we can notice that these people have a warm smile are filled with a sense of contentment and harmony with life that nothing can take away from them. They fill the hearts of people around with Joy by their mere presence . This aura of theirs is what is depicted using halos in most of their paintings and sculptures. The secret behind this aura is this: Each person you 'Love Truly' makes you immensely richer in a special way. You have a guaranteed source of Joy that no one can take away from you. And these people have a few billion humans and countless other beasts and still more plants and trees constantly giving them this Joy! The whole world belongs to them; wherever they go they only see more and more creatures they can adore, Unconditionally, Endlessly and Limitlessly! This Joy is what gives them their halos! You may say, "But all these people are great saints and God men; I am not!" And I say, the only difference is you haven't started on 'True Love' yet!

The Lifecycle of REAL Software

2008-05-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

1. The logical mind relaxes in an unperturbed state.

2. An irritating problem intrudes the logical mind but it initiates a beautiful thought process there!

3. The beautiful thought process, creatively enumerates options, accommodates special cases with foresight, intelligently eliminates inferior alternatives and arrives at an elegant solution.

4. The elegant solution is not just that which negates the problem, but something aesthetically valuable and intellectually pleasing by itself!

Night life

2008-04-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

25th April 2008, Trichy, South India:

A homeless man shares his dinner with a street dog, under a lamp post by the road, before turning in for the day at the same venue. It is the peak of summer and this town is notorious for its searing heat. The lamp is rendezvous for a swarm of myriad insects, which orbits it for the safety offered by its light. The walls behind serve as public toilet to the travelers of the road. Strewn across the sand are instances of liter thrown from the building behind and by people walking by.

The same night, just a few kilometers away:

Oblivious to climatic effects and other miseries of shelterless existence, I snuggle to sleep beneath rich sheets in this plush hotel room. Around my bed there is enough room for an entire family of street dwellers. The rent I pay for it for the day, could feed the man in the above picture for more than a month.

He has his night, I mine.

Today

2008-02-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

PS: Click on the images to see full size.

The cake's perspective

2007-11-07T21:10:00.000-08:00

I once thought the only way to be happy was by achieving something, making my name and reaching somewhere. But now my perspective is different. I see what needs to be done, what I feel like doing and try doing it with all my heart and extract happiness out of doing things this way alone.

To make this clear let me give you a small example. Take the case of me eating a cake. My earlier perspective towards it was this. The cake is a sweet thing. Eating it will give ME happiness. So I want to eat the cake and I want to be happy. But I now look at things in a different perspective. That is the cake's perspective. The purpose of the cake is to be eaten and relished by someone. It has to create happiness in whoever eats it. It needn't necessarily be me. Once someone eats it and becomes happy, I am happy. Because the best purpose of the cake has been served in the best possible way. It doesn't matter if I eat it or someone else eats it at all, when you look at things in the cake's perspective. So, if you step out of yourself, and start looking at the world "in the cake's perspective", life becomes a lot more meaningful and enjoyable. The restlessness to find something and do something is gone. You can start taking life as it comes. You just hang around and make sure all the cakes are eaten by people who like eating cakes, and once in a while it is you. And slowly you realise one thing. You yourself are a cake! You yourself exist to create happiness to the people around you! The world will make sure that you are consumed and relished to the fullest extent. You have nothing to search for and nothing to find. Things will happen by themselves if you just take care of yourself and make sure you have a good time.

The Choice of Purpose and the Way of the Peacock!

2007-11-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

Someone I know once said, "It is only fair that we get 'Credit' for what we do and it ain't worth doing otherwise. People who do things without getting the credit have a bad attitude."

I was also of this opinion for most of my life. But, recently I found out something which changed the way I looked at things. Should people get credit for the work they do? In all fairness yes. But should that be the purpose behind choosing what they do?
No. Because if you think about it the 'purpose' behind some of the best things that people have done is not 'Credit', 'Money', or 'appreciation' from others. Mozart didn't compose his music for money; when he died he was a poor man! Did Einstein put forth his theories to win the Nobel? No he was crazy abt physics from childhood!

When I first went to see a cricket match I couldn't help wondering "how is this batsman guy able to focus on a ball whizzing towards him at 90 miles an hour, when thousands of people are staring and shouting at him and everything is projected on this giant screen?" Then I got it. "He is not playing FOR them. He played cricket in the streets because he liked the game and was passionate about it. When he got those glorious strokes right they gave him such a high. He is bathed in this JOY: and THAT is his 'purpose.' That is all he cares for. This joy intoxicates him and makes all the crowd and noise disappear and he sees only the ball! But if he played for 'Credit' he will be worried about the fans -- what they think -- and get hit on the head on the first bouncer."

Please note that this is not a 'resign to my fate' attitude. "What can i do if someone else takes the credit?" this is not my point. My point is that we focus on that, which gives us the best, truest most wholesome happiness. Do not curb the flow of joy and sense of accomplishment you get by attaching strings and conditions to it.

You do things because you believe in finishing them honestly and seeing them done. How can anyone else stop you from that? This joy is so pure and genuine that what anyone else thinks need not affect it at all.

There is no need to care about what he thinks', she thinks, he says, she says. I do that, which gives ME joy. I believe in doing things for the reason why "The Peacock Dances." It doesn't want to be photographed or made the National bird! It dances for the JOY of dancing in the spring. And THAT makes it beautiful.

So the very desire for credit is a distraction in our deed. Politicians rule the country FOR money and credit. See what happens there!

The best people do it for the JOY. Credit is only a superfluous byproduct!

A strange day in our lives

2007-07-28T10:24:00.001-07:00

I hope I don’t have to face a day like this ever again. But hey! I got so busy speaking about it, I almost forgot to tell you who I am.

It began just like any other day. Saldna and I started off to catch the 7:20 bus to the college. It came just as we reached the bus stop and we got in. The proximity of exams had made Saldna a religious girl. So after getting off the bus, she decided to give a short visit to the temple before entering class. I only waited outside. Not because I don’t believe in being close to God, but perhaps, because God doesn’t believe in being close to me. She came back out in ten minutes and it was time for college.

Just before we entered the class we heard an uproar of sound come from inside. As soon as we went in, we were informed that Mr. Bhagavantam Subramanian Iyer, the lecturer due for the first hour, was absent. We joined the cheers!

The Cool-kitz gang took no time to assemble.

“Wonder what’s up with Bassy!” said Saldna. ‘Bassy’ was how the class conveniently referred to the particular lecturer. He was known for his regularity and hence the news of his leave was taken as a surprise.

“Heaven knows!” replied Abhilasha, Saldna’s best friend.

“Hey Abhi, don’t think we forgot. When is the treat?” cried out Vikram. This was the regular practise. Let alone birthdays and other regular celebrations, a treat was asked for at the slightest excuse- a prize at a sports competition or in some culturals, a sibling or even a cousin’s wedding, and of course on getting high marks. Abhilasha Raghunath had won Rs.10,000 in a national level project presentation competition. An achievement of such scale guaranteed that the treat would not be overlooked.

“Why bother with treats? I’m throwing a party this evening. 5’O clock. My place. The whole class is invited!”

“COOL!”

The class was known to be noisy even under normal circumstances. With two such exciting upshots early in the day it went wild in celebration. Later the second hour lecturer came to put a full stop to the cacophony. The rest of the day was uneventfully gloomy.

By 5:20 that evening the road in front of Abhilasha’s house was crowded with two-wheelers. Shruti, Vikram, Nina, Sunita, Sidharth, Anu—they were all there. Eleven students of the class could make it to the party and most of them came on their bikes. Saldna and I came by bus.

The house was in perfect condition for a party. Both her parents having left the city, Abhilasha was left alone in the house. So, with no elders to be disturbed loud rock music blared from the stereo. The fridge was filled with two-litre coke bottles. Pizzas were ordered. Eating, chatting, laughing, shouting—all went on at once. And when you make merry, time slips by quickly. Before we knew it, it was almost eight. The guests began leaving the house one after the other. By now Abhilasha’s house was in quite a mess. Since our house was just 15 minutes away by walk, Saldna decided to stay on to help tidy things up. Some more chatting went on and by the time we left the time was almost ten.

We had walked this road often but never so late. It was surprising that it could seem so strange and lonely. We moved on nervously.

Suddenly, out of the darkness, came a large shabby-looking man. From the way he was shaking and shouting he was certainly heavily drunk. He looked at Saldna, a chill went down her spine. He stared at her for sometime and then began walking unsteadily towards her. And in a broken voice came the song, “Rooppu tera... mastaana....” Saldna stood still, frozen in fear.

The man was now dangerously close. I could feel Saldna’s hand gripping me tightly. I alone could do some help. Then in a fraction of a second, before the rogue could realise what was going on, my sole landed on his hairy face in a powerful blow. That one shot seemed enough. The villain stumbled, fell over and lay motionless. We rushed to the safety of our home.

Later that night I lay thinking what a strange day it had been. It started so well, was full of fun and in the end it became such a frightening adventure. I hope I don’t have to face a day like this ever again. But hey! I got so busy speaking about it, I almost forgot to tell you who I am. I am the pair of high-heeled sandals, Saldna has been wearing for the past two years!

What day is today?

2006-06-01T01:07:00.000-07:00

We have a day for the mother, a day for the father, one each for sister, brother, son, daughter, niece... One for cancer, one for AIDS, one for cardiac arrest, one for epilepsy... Then there are days for planting trees, remembering Mr. Kofi Annan, dressing up like ghouls and flossing our gums. In short, we have days for most diseases, relatives and just about all other problems. Do these days really help us in sorting out our problems? That is a very vague, difficult and useless question to answer. Instead, let me ask, do we have days to take care of all our needs? The answer to that is definitely NO. A ‘NO’ with a capital ‘N’, as well as a capital ‘O’, for those suffering from case-blindness. For here are 10 days that, I’m sure you’ll agree, will not only be found useful but will also enrich our lives and give us a boost in our journey towards self-realisation.

1. Anti-commercial day: According to a survey in the U.S., each day, the average person is confronted with 2000 advertisements. Humanity will be more than happy to do without them for a day. No channel should break for commercials today and just keep broadcasting their programs throughout. All newspapers and magazines published on this day must not have a single advertisement, but just stick to news and articles. Hoardings on roadside, busses and walls should be draped with black cloth. Salesmen must stay home and vendors at the market must go about their selling silently.

2. I’m-sorry day: This can be a very special day. It gives you a chance to apologise and rid your relationships of all its cold blocks. So pick up the phone, call up the dear ones and say, “Dear friend, if I ever hurt you or made you feel bad in any manner, I apologise for it today. I cherish your friendship and always want to see you happy. As far as I know, I have always acted according to this, but if you, at any time felt otherwise that was never the intention." Being a bit over-sentimental is okay on 'I'm-sorry' day.

3. No-mobile-phone day: Cast away your ring-tone rattles today. Spend it peacefully and rediscover the pleasures of undisturbed living. It is possible to live without this thing. Believe me when I say, you once did.

4. Non-uniform day: This is the day for the whole world to go ‘Rangeela’. All schools, factories, laboratories, hotels and other establishments that mandate uniforms must lapse this rule for the day. Let people express themselves by wearing their attitude. Colours of all variety will make today a spicy day!

5. Say-Hi-to-strangers day: Day after day we pass by hundreds of people staring coldly at their noses. Let us all decide to shed our inhibitions and fears today and smile and greet everyone we meet. This would have a lubricating effect on our society. We will realise that grotesque our appearances and ways may seem to each other, what counts is we have all descended from the same ape. Not as many people as we think, exhibit cannibalism and most of us don’t mind being adored at all. This day gives you the chance to meet people who can be your great friends, advisors or archrivals. Who knows, you might even meet your dream-lover!

6. Pedal-your-way day: “Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race”, wrote the famous writer H.G. Wells. If you are healthy and normal one day’s cycling to work or college won’t do any harm. Only when you use your brawn to push the distances behind, can you know how vast the pleasant land really is. So today it’s bye-bye to cars, scooters, buses and the rest of the powered lot. The true worth of this ordeal and the sense of accomplishment and happiness it gives can’t be described; it has to be experienced. I can promise you this will be a day you will not regret.

7. Snail-mail day: With new gadgets of all shapes and sizes popping up around us daily, writing letters by hand is a practice that is becoming increasingly obscure. So do it the old fashioned way today and take up pen and paper (remember even printouts aren’t allowed) and write to one and all. When you have upgraded your computers, swapped your phones with smaller models, and thrown away your CDs for better things that fit in your computer’s mouth, the letters will live; to tell stories about you to your great-grandchildren.

8. World-joke day: Let us forget seriousness today and generously serve each other good doses of the best medicine. Everyone must think of some funny incident in his or her life or if possible make up his or her own joke. This must be shared with everyone met. The world will be a much happier day on this day, with laughter ringing at every corner and with so many people, so pleasant, so much at once.

9. Un-Valentine’s day: There is a day to say, ‘I love you’. So there’s got to be one to say ‘I don’t’. For those caught in relationships that are not necessary or relationships that are no longer necessary and wondering how to call it off, this day gives the chance. Just Un-Valentine yourself on this day saying, “I’ve had enough” or “We aren’t getting anywhere” or “There is someone else”, as the case maybe, and you’ll have lots of company!

10. No-day day: With everyday being this day or that day there’s got to be a day when we need to take a break. That’s precisely where the No-day day comes in. This is the day to forget about all the problems of the world, all the plagues that exist in it and all our relatives. Live today assuming there are no problems in the world. Even if a problem arises leave it for another day!

On the probable means of my death

2005-12-16T12:53:00.000-08:00

Reply to the man who warned against wading into the sea:

"Of all the pleasant ways to die,
I am sure I will not drown;
Though from a cliff or tower high,
Headlong, I might well fall down!

Maniacs abound in this world,
Maybe one would chop my head;
Daily new diseases unfold,
Any one could make me dead!

The conspiring sea’s no man’s friend,
She’s neither safe nor shallow;
But it has been my childhood trend,
The rising waves to follow!

I’ve grown up playing with the sea,
Swimming waters green and brown,
I like the sea and she likes me
So I’m sure I will not drown!"

Attacked on the way to the station

2005-12-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

I leave my house and begin the familiar walk to the railway station. It is broad daylight and the short journey looks to be regular and uneventful. The cobbler opposite my house is asleep. There is a strong breeze and the air is filled with dragon flies. I walk straight to the small crowded intersection of 5 streets. I have to take the road that goes straight-right. I wait for the huge S.U.V. to pass, quickly take a peep into the 5 lanes and scurry across.

An attack at this time was the last thing I expected. The first one really took me by surprise.
“Is it okay to break rules when we think breaking a rule on a given occasion does not cause the damage the rule was made to guard against?”
“Is it okay to continue owning and propagating beliefs when we know we cannot prove them to be true?”

I enter my lane and see a huge pile of garbage lying heaped in a corner. There are more flies, dragon flies and other insects flying around it. A small dog surprises me by materializing from within its depths. Beyond this, the series of vendors begins. Fruit sellers behind their colourful, handmade mountains try to attract me by shouting out their prices. I reach another small intersection where I have to take a left. I see more people, more shops, more dragonflies. In a corner is a huge garbage bin lying tilted. The cow responsible, has its eyes shut and seems focused on whatever it is chewing. Liquid oozes from its mouth. Vehicles swerve to avoid hitting it.

At this stage, I somehow felt I was not a part of the road. I was just passively drifting by. More like the star in the morning sky that forgot to go off after sunrise.
“How can we say that we have the power to choose, when we have no option but to go with, what seems to us at the moment, the best choice?”
“If the creator is simultaneously infinitely potent and infinitely benevolent, why do almost 1,800 children under the age of 15 become HIV positive every day?”

As I walk past the cow I see the hoarding of a smiling boy holding a biscuit packet over a stationary shop. A fly lands and sits on his nose. I move on. Two auto drivers are having an animated conversation. A man apologises after bumping into one of them. As I take my final turn into the station premises I see a few beggars sitting by the road. They rattle their coin containers to add rhythm to the sorry tunes they cry to evoke pity. The railing behind them seems somewhat a uniform mixture of torn posters, beetle leaf spittle and bare black metal. A blind man rubs himself and his stick against it and shakes his head as if to say he understands where he is.

I had not framed all these questions. And I was in no mood to try and answer them. I did not even consider them. But they just came. Bolts from the blue. They had been hiding somewhere at the back of my head. There they formed an army and chose this most unseemly hour to attack.
“How do we define the purpose of our life, if what we like to do most is different from what we are best at doing?”

I reach the ticket counter, ask for my ticket and pay 10 rupees. The man behind the counter takes it and punches a button on a machine. It throws out the 4 rupee ticket and the man throws out the 6 rupee change; somewhat in the same style.

“If desire is the cause for all suffering, and I sit alone close my eyes and absolve myself of all desires, will mosquitoes stop biting me?"

The train arrives today as soon as I reach the platform. I get on and it speeds into the thick breeze and the station, behind me disappears round the bend.

Friends, Romans, countrymen lend me your parsers!

2005-11-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

Gone are the days my friends, when computers were the sole ejaculators of error messages. People around me have started talking in errors, warnings and exceptions. This development was embodied in one of my friend’s words when he said, “It is not enough if you hear people. You have to parse what they say to understand them.” This was when I realized William Shakespeare could have done better with his Julius Caesar. I also realized I had some catching up to do with recent trends. So, the next day I woke up and decided to become ‘Hari the human compiler’ and parse what people say.

MOM: Hari! Can you please come here and help me with this thing.
ME: Request cannot be processed as issued. Variable ‘thing’ needs to be initialized before first use.

Come on. I couldn’t see her from where I was.

MOM: Hari! Can you run to the neighbor’s and get me my umbrella. I left it there yesterday.
ME: Unable to comply. Pointer ‘there’ points to a location that is not accessible.

Their house was locked. What do I do?

Intoxicated by my effects I decided to ‘extend’ my exploits into the object oriented paradigm.

BRUTUS*: How many runs did Sachin make?
ME: Caught NoSuchObjectException for Sachin.runs: He didn’t play today.
BRUTUS(catching hold of my collar): Stop parsing away like this or I’ll make sure you pass away!

And that was one time too many!

The man with the weird hair asked, “Been there? Done that thing?”

I just said yes.

_________________________________
* Name changed for the sake of author’s safety.

An interview with God

2005-11-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

The almighty God, for the first time, agreed for an interview under the following conditions.

o The interview is not to be published in any saleable material like a newspaper, but must be available for free to all through a blog.

o The name of the reporter who conducted this interview and his method of contact with God must not be revealed.

So I’ll just call him Secrep, for secret reporter. Secrep made use of this chance to ask some of the questions that has been plaguing humanity for eons. Here is what took place:

Secrep: As a character, are you normal and boring or weird and cranky?

God: These are all extremely relative terms, so there can’t be an absolute answer. Just for the record, I created Michael Jackson and the flabby man who streaks during Tennis matches.

Secrep: If you really are all that infinite and almighty, then why create a being as cunning and crooked as a human being?

God: Such a being is necessary in order to control the unsteady and dynamic environment of the world he lives in.

Secrep: Why is there so little life and matter and so much empty space?

God: (begins to get a bit animated here!) For all those strange theories, fantasies and science fiction you come with and all the movies Spielberg makes it is really worth it!

Secrep: Really! So what kind of movies do you like?

God: Look. It doesn’t work that way. People watch movies. I watch people

Secrep: Then what kind of people do you like?

God: All people are equal in front of me. Come on, I created all of you guys!

Secrep: So you’re saying a terrorist and a saint are the same to you.

God: Very much! Each one of you is created to fulfill a role in the upkeep of the world. Your desires, beliefs and capabilities are in keeping with that role. Each person acts according to these. Some may seem pleasant and others unpleasant to you. But all are equally important to me to keep this thing going.

Secrep: Any tips for the average human being?

God: (erupting) Boy oh boy! Volumes of religious books, So many dozens of prophets and still I’m facing this question! Don’t you have enough code to go by and manage already?

Secrep: That’s okay, but anything at all to add/emphasize here?

God: (sounding bored) Ah, nothing new actually. It’s just what I’ve been saying all along. Just don’t worry and be happy. Everything on the earth happens for the good. If something good that you expect doesn’t happen, it’s to allow for some greater good. So just chill!

Secrep: Then, what’s the deal with all the Tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes?

God: Here comes the part that most of you have difficulty in understanding. Believe me when I say, I didn’t create any of them. It’s merely the functioning of a system that balances itself.

Secrep: Is that also for greater good?

God: Most definitely yes. Believe me there are people who have figured this out for themselves. And anyone who probes for the truth deeply enough can find it.

Secrep: Well, can’t there be a better way?

God: That’s a question you must ask yourself.

Secrep: Given a chance would you be a man?

God: Hell yea! Oops I am not supposed to use such words, am I? Could you please not put that on print?

Secrep: You can count on it! What is better Coke or Pepsi?

God: If you ask me, Tropicana.

Secrep: Do people really have a choice or is our fate predetermined?

God: Given a choice what would you choose?

Secrep:Well that depends on the person.

God: So does this!

Secrep: If all are equal before you, then why is life so unfair?

God: Life is never fair for anybody. Sometimes it is favourably unfair and sometimes it’s unfavourably unfair. So it evens out.

Secrep: But some people keep suffering from birth to death.

God: If you think birth is the beginning and death is the end you are mistaken.

Secrep: What happens after death?

God: You will know when the time comes.

Secrep: Why don’t you explain to us now?

God: You know what? Why don’t you explain sex positions to second graders next time they ask where they came from?

Secrep: What came first; the chicken or it’s egg?

God: The Chicken

Secrep: Kindly Explain.

God: (erupting again) Gosh do I have to say everything? Evolution people! The first chicken came out of the egg of a bird which belonged to a different species. The new bird was a chicken though its parents were not, because it was genetically a mutant; a variant which survived because it turned out to be better adapted. It layed the first Chicken’s egg. Now this is something you guys already figured out!

Secrep: Microbes, Dinosaurs, People… Are you thinking up of more fun-do stuff for the future?

God: You, ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

If you have any questions you want to ask God post them right here. If Secrep happens to meet God again, he can forward your questions to him!

All's Hell That Ends Cell!

2005-11-26T00:04:00.000-08:00

Mr. Successful-Businessman closed the door behind him, as he stepped into the balcony of his tall office building. He closed his eyes, stretched himself and took a deep breath. The whiff of the corporate atmosphere set off a trip down the memory lane; the years of slogging in the college, the scores of interviews and exams attended, the countless extra-hours put in at work, then leaving it all to start off a new venture by himself. It had taken a lot to get here.

The train of thoughts was running smoothly till the whirring Cell Phone in his pocket came and pulled the chain. He flipped it out and said hello.

“Good morning sir. This is your washing machine speaking. The clothes you set for washing at eight eleven a.m. are not done due to system failure. There seems to be an internal leak, which caused the splashing of water on the circuit board. Press one to auto-forward failure report to service center, two to ignore.”

He pressed one and went back to work. The mood for nostalgia was gone!

If you think this is a scene from someone’s idea of a possible day in the remote future, you are wrong. Already, our gadgets have begun recognising each other as brethren. There are fans that can be hooked into the computer’s U. S. B. slot and disk drives come attached to musical keyboards! So the technology is already there. Now, it’s just left to some enterprising entrepreneur to work out the logistics.

As of now, our Mobile Phones allow us to communicate with any distant corner of the world irrespective of where we are. To demonstrate how this property of theirs comes in handy in critical situations, let me share with you the following instances from my life.

The first incident that comes to my mind is the day when I was to meet this particular friend of mine, at this particular restaurant, at er... this particular time. Having got there I discovered that the ‘restaurant’ was not a specific enough rendezvous. There must’ve been at least sixty people in that hall. I couldn’t even see many of the tables let alone find one to sit around. Undaunted, I drew out the Cell like a soldier who had to singly face the entire army in front of him would have.

“Hey, I am there man, where are you?”

“Turn around you nitwit! You’re standing on my toe!” came the answer.

“I could hear you loud and clear! Why did you pick up the phone to say that? ” I turned around and barked back angrily.

“Okay I’ve cut the call and speak directly to you now. PLEASE STEP OFF MY FOOT!”

The next event comes straight from the backbench chronicles of my class. This happened when a lecturer rudely interrupted a game of hangman taking place there and questioned the sleuths from the recent contents of his sermon. He was so confident that he had caught the day’s quota of expels, that whenever he looked at those boys for several days after the incident, he wondered how they had managed to answer so briskly and surely that day. His alarm is excusable, as his position did not allow him to see the Cell Phone under the desk, which had silently received the timely SMS from the frontbench.

“Good afternoon sir. I’m calling from your washing machine service center. We got a failure report from your machine. I can come and take a look tomorrow 10 a.m. if that’s okay with you.”

“That suits me fine. There will be no one in the house then. But I’ll send you the key.”

The key in question is a random 16-digit number generated by the household computer network. The electronic lock to the house would be sensitive to this number only between 9:55 and 10:15 a.m. the next day. This would be encrypted and sent to the service engineer’s Cell Phone. And most of this process would be automatic.

Even today, to presume that Cell Phones are used mainly to talk is an unpopular misconception. None of my out-going calls were ‘going’ one day when I borrowed my friend’s Mobile Phone and called the customer care center to ask what was wrong.

The voice on the other end seemed older than expected.

“I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.”

I immediately turned to my friend, “Hey! Where have I heard this dialogue before? Yes. This is what the thaatha says at the end of Matrix Reloaded! Does this mean the machines have taken over humanity and we’re all enslaved?”

He replied without appreciating the attempted humour, “No this means you pressed the ‘play’ button instead of the ‘call’ button. I already knew his dialogue was impossible to understand by hearing once. So I recorded it in the theater into my phone. Now you pressed the play button after dialing the number to play it.”

“PHEW!”

I have a five-year-old nephew whose ambition in life keeps changing everyday. The day he wanted to become a barber, he took a pair of scissors and started snipping off hair of his soundly sleeping elder brother’s head. However, after working on one side he was convinced that to become an air-pilot would be a less mundane career option and left the scene. After waking up, the elder-nephew was startled to discover the improvised status of his hairdo.

“Give me a hat. I’ll rush to the barber and get it fixed. No one other than the three of us will see it.”

“No everyone will.” I said and coolly, picked up the new Cell Phone with an attached camera lying by and clicked. Thus the work of the ex-wannabe-barber was preserved to be witnessed and appreciated by all.

“Good morning sir. This is your washing machine service engineer speaking. I’m at your place and have just examined your machine.”

“Good. So what?”

“As the initial report suggested, the circuit board is wet. A couple of ICs will have to be replaced. But the leak seems a bit bigger than expected so-”

“Listen, I don’t have time for all this. Just do whatever it takes to fix the thing and be on your way. Thank you and goodbye.”

And that’s what it seemed. The man would fix the machine and use his MobilePhone to send his bill to his client’s bank. The bank after getting a ‘mobile’ approval from the account holder would electronically transfer the amount between accounts. When all this automation was available, wondered Mr. Successful Businessman, why should they bother him?

I managed to recognise a friend of mine, whom I hadn’t seen for about three years, walking a few steps ahead of me on the road. I hurriedly caught up with him and patted on his back. He turned back, looked at me and with an extremely irritated expression, said, “I don’t understand why you have to be such a pig everyday. I feel happy when I think I hate you.”

Then his disposition changed to one of frozen embarrassment.

“I’m dreadfully sorry!” he said pulling out a noodle form his ear, “I was using ‘hands-free’, talking to my ex-boss!”

There was a time, not very long ago when, you could flash around a Cell Phone and imply you were elite and sophisticated. However, the situation has changed slightly now. Nellaichammi a farmer in an obscure village named Tisaiyanvalai in south Tamil Nadu has made us all proud, by stretching Ivan Pavlov’s famous dog, meat and bell experiment to new limits. He tied a Cell Phone around one of his cows’ neck and made it ring every evening he pulled the herd home, after grazing. And soon enough the cows got conditioned to head home when they heard the phone. Now when someone says, “It is time to bring the cows home” he says, “Then pick up the phone and call’em!”

We all know how Mobile Phones these days have become so fully flexible and completely personaliseable. You can choose from which colour panel you want, which picture should form the background on your little screen to saying what the phone should greet you each time you switch on and which song it should use to ring when you get a call. There are some people who have this great knack of turning any tune they hear to a ring-tone using the phone’s composer.

“Can you recognise this song?” asked one of these to another, while playing a melody on his handset.

“Why, its Sebastian Bach’s fugue in G major.” the other replied

“You’re wrong. Its the song ‘Manja kattu maina’ from the movie ‘Manathai thirudi vittai’.”

“Where is my washing machine?” asked Mr. Successful Businessman through his phone, after reaching his house.

“Sir, The leak was bigger than expected. I had to bring it here to fix it. I tried explaining this to you before and ask your permission but you said, ‘do whatever it takes.’”

“Okay it’s my fault. Now when can I have it back?”

“I’m sorry but there is another problem. We have a strict rule of not returning serviced appliances until the charge is transferred successfully.”

“So what’s the problem? Just punch your phone, get the cash and be done with it. There is enough money in the account.”

“I’m sure there is sir, but that’s not the problem. Your bank has got your phone number wrong. They can’t send you the bill for transfer clearance until they get it right. They say you have to write them a letter and get the number corrected.”

And the automation comes to a jerking halt. Our machines maybe getting smarter everyday; still there will be times when we can’t escape from doing things we hate the most.

Throughout history, waiting for the beloved has been one of the most enjoyable rituals among lovers. The excitement due to anticipation of the sweetheart’s arrival has been colourfully described by man a poet. Sadly, the Cell Phone has emerged as the murder of these beautiful emotional moments. Today, the lover-boy calls up his ladylove to say, “I’m leaving home now. Should be there in an hour.”

A little later he calls again to say, “The traffic looks pretty smooth today. And I seem to be in great luck. No red lights so far!”

This goes on quite a few times until...

“I have reached the ground floor and I’m waiting for the lift. Will get there as soon as it comes.”

If you thought that was the last call you were wrong.

“Your calling bell doesn’t seem to work. Please come and open the door.”

This is the point where I feel compelled to speak as forthrightly as possible and hope I have opened your eyes to the fact that the Cell Phone, in actuality, is a curse in disguise. It clings on to us as a necessary evil. When technology presents to us solutions to our problems, our life does not get any easier. For we develop new problems to cope with the new solutions. My Mobile Phone keeps me reachable wherever I may roam. However, what this makes me more than anything else is ‘available for disturbance!’ Moreover, the health hazard issue is always looming somewhere close by. The ‘bursting Cell Phone’ episodes have introduced to us, a new potential disaster. Their disposal has raised serious questions, as these are little boxes filled with poisonous chemicals. And whatever my manual says on adhering to norms of safe frequency range of operation, I am not happy with the idea of R.F. waves playing tic-tac-toe in my heart.

The above drawbacks notwithstanding, there is one instance where the Cell Phone never fails to deliver. It provides an unbeatable means of ignoring people! If you are in a group that is discussing a subject in which you feel uneasy, all you have to do is take out your phone and meddle with it as though you were disarming a nuclear bomb. On train back from college one day, my peers started discussing the questions from a recent paper. For me this was a contingency as I had successfully scored seven out of a hundred in that paper. So as the others began debating the answers and the liberalness of the correction, I turned to my LCD screen. The little snake in my phone grew to new lengths, preventing the same from happening to my embarrassment and insecurity. However, the refuge was not permanent. The topic became so fervent that my involvement became inevitable. One of us tugged me away from my phone to ask, “Hey, why are you so silent? How did you do in that exam?”

“Oops, my phone is vibrating. This must be Sonia to talk about her cat’s operation. You’ll have to excuse me.”

“Eooowwwww!” cried out the Successful Businessman as a blob of soap water landed in his eye. To speak of, he has no great experience in washing his clothes.